So, I just watched 'I Don't Know How She Does It' starring Sarah Jessica Parker and a thought occur to me....
"how do I stand as a mother?". Does anybody ever stare or look at me then ask themselves "My, how does she does it?".
Well, unlike Parker's character, my job is not that physically demanding. I don't travel to get a job done. I only work 8 hours a day for 5 days. Plus 5 hours more on Saturdays. Overtimes are not allowed since my work requires mostly of talking on the phone with clients and suppliers during office hours. Night calls are only for emergency such as problems with deliveries or important inquiries that needs urgent answers. But mind you my job is a very stressful one. I'm on sales of construction supplies to various contractors, real estate developers and manufacturers of different products. So from answering quotations, to winning the bill, accepting and arranging the purchase order, up to ensuring the deliveries on time, I have to be on top of all of that. That is why most of the time when I went home I am very exhausted. I also have this bad habit of bringing home some work to help lessen my office load. But most of the time it never gets done BECAUSE I AM SO TIRED ALREADY with all the housework.
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| me at work |
We don't have a househelp. We never had. My daughter had a nanny once for two months only when she was 2. I am not very comfortable leaving my daughter alone with a very young unexperience girl, even if she is my cousin. So I ask for my parents help. We had an arrangement to bring my daughter to their house in the morning, then pick her up when we get home. It's a 10-minute commute so it's not a bother.
I am a hands-on mom. But I got lots of help from my mother and my mother-in-law. I married young, therefore I needed guidance. But I made sure to be always there for my daughter. Well, not exactly. When she started school our schedule gets complicated. I can't miss work to attend the PTA meetings or any other school activities. My hubby or my mom are my proxy. Her teachers never met me. Her classmates never knew me. But I knew them. Leslie loves to talk. She talks about everything. She always tell me how her day was. I knew her teachers, classmates and friends well enough through her stories. That's how we bonded. We never loose communication. She understand (at a very young age) that I have to work. As soon as she learns to speak, every time I say my goodbyes going to work, she retorts "Walang Work, Walang Milk" (No Work, No Milk). And in return I make sure that I have something for her when I get home. And every weekend we make time for her. We go out whenever it's possible or we simply play sillies at home.
Every Sunday morning, upon waking up, my husband and my daughter always do some kind of wrestling stuff. Of course, hubby never let himself win. He takes all the punches and the kicks while laughing very hard. When they get tired then we start breakfast.
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| daddy and leslie |
Leslie is fifteen now. So, the wrestling part is gone. Aside from that my husband new work schedule is very difficult. I couldn't remember the last time we all went out together. And most of the time my daughter has her own 'gimik' with her friends. And because cellphones were invented, it pretty occupies her time. I sometimes wonder how she can talk to different person simultaneously. She talk to someone on our phone while she chat with somebody on the laptop and text another one on her cellphone. Teenagers...
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| mi unica hija |
We still talk a lot, Leslie and I. When there's time. Usually during weekends. And cellphones becomes a necessity to us. And notes!!! Yes, notes. I always find a note on the sofa or pinned at the cork board or on the fridge from her. That usually happen when I went home late and she sleeps early. And I appreciate that greatly. She can easily text me anytime but she prefers to write a note. usually it's about some request or school reminders. but once in a while it's just a note asking me to take it easy and she misses me. And her dad.
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| the latest note I received from Leslie |
So you see, I stand fairly good as a working mom. But sometimes I feel that I am not giving enough time for my family. I still want to do good at my job and at the same time have more time with my family. And I'm thinking of having another baby. My husband has been begging me for years to have another one, but I don't think it's the right time. I want our house fixed first. And I want us to be financially settled. Leslie is entering college next year, we have to prepare for that. I want to do better on my job next year. Hubby needs to be regularized on his current work. And I want to venture into something for additional income. With all these, how can I fit a baby?
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| my only baby |
But as the saying goes "Kung gusto may paraan, Kung ayaw may dahilan" (If there's a will there's a way). I think I can do this. I mean all the things on my list, it's doable. It won't take a superwoman to do everything I need to get done. It just need a woman who even though loves hes job still prioritizes her family. who is not afraid to ask help from friends, families and even her husband to get things done. Who feels loved in every way by her husband and daughter. Who has a caring boss that understands that I am a wife and a mother first above anything else. Who feels the good graces of God everyday. And at the end of the day no one has to wonder and ask anything. When they see my smile, all they can say is...that's how she did it!
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| things would be easy if i'm a superhero :-p |
