change-up

funny thing. 

i just watched the movie "change-up" by Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman. it was a comedy film about two guys who are best friends with each other all their lives and who are a complete opposite of each other. Mitch (Reynolds) is a single man who is at the prime of his sexual life while Dave (Bateman) is a married man with three kids and a loving wife and soon-to-be-partner of the firm his working at. one fateful, drunk night they both peed on a fountain and wished they had each others lives.hence, the switch. and so as the movie goes, Mitch became somewhat responsible and realize that he too wants to accomplish something in his life. while Dave finally understands that life is not all about work. it's about the people that matter in his life. his family. of course, realization came not without tons of troubles, pains and dramas...you get the picture, right?

but that's not the funny thing. see, this is supposed to be a funny movie. i should have been laughing my eyeballs out. but instead, i found myself crying..hysterically!!! kidding! but i did cry. and i had some trouble hiding my tears from the people i'm with since i don't know how to answer  in case they ask.

see, Jamie (Leslie Mann), got me crying. she is the neglected wife of Dave. she has been with Dave throughout his endeavors in his life.she witnessed how he wearied himself just to achieve everything. she just want him to pause and have a breather and be with them sometime. she felt that Dave is not happy with them. he keep on looking over the fence to find his happiness. and when she said the line " how can you stay married to a person who is not capable of being happy?", this had my tears rolling (even as i write this down i can feel it coming). 

it was a bulls eye, a complete hit! so many times i tried to ignore the pain because i always said to myself that i am okay now. that i don't care anymore. that what we had was over and the 'moving on' should start soon. but it was that single phrase that reminds me of everything.

i knew that my marriage was failing when i realize that i married an unhappy man. he always find faults in everything around him. he over thinks everything. i find that he is only happy when he is with his friends. he sees us as a heavy burden that he needs to bear all his life. i know that he loves me and he adores her daughter, but he made me feel that he hates his life because of us.

i already accepted the fact that i cannot make him happy anymore. we will never be happy together. we will always pull each other down because of our differences. it's so sad to realize that we failed as a couple. and it really hurts when you were reminded of your failure.

well, as Mitch's parting words to Dave "life may not turn out the way we want it to be, maybe because it will be better". i'm still waiting for that moment. the moment when my life would be better...